ohh hunter.. hunter! hello? HELLO?! is anybody the-? hello!? jake shut up! i was being mauled then! we were all being shot at and attacked! why are we being shot at?! who’s shooting us?! you with your crossbow! DYUH? STOP USING THE CROSSBOW AT CLOSE RANGE! it’s not at close range! look where i am! IT’S CLOSE RANGE FOR US YOU! i think someone has issues.. you’ve only just realised this.. god damn it! everyone.. get in this room! which room? the one the one it?* therun?* we’re in! oh god! don’t shut the door then! you! you didn’t say shut the door! you just said get in the room! i thought that’d be obvious! ohh they’re climbing up next to me! you’ve got the turret next to you stop panicking! i’m just saying they’re climbing up next to me! i’m just giving you information! what? because we can’t see the massive pyramid of zombies that’s appearing underneath you?! oh are they alex?! oh i didn’t know they were climbing up in front of you mate! oh i can’t see that massive mosh pit of down there! thanks mate! thanks! thanks for the heads up! there’s one below you as well! oh thanks mate! oh i didn’t see that one either! oh thank you! so kind! chat made a very good point.. you’ve got a LMG on your back.. if hit the fan.. use it! oh.. no.. you drop it automatically.. yeah.. you drop it automatically when there’s no rounds in it.. have you even fired it once?! no i’ve completely forgotten it’s on my back! i’m going to use it’s probably a good time isn’t it? it’s.. you’re going to be almost out of range! no it’s not.. it’s doing loads of damage! hactually! that was my grenade.. nope! just please! let me have this one! i’m so alone! *sad laughing* i’m gonna go down in a second.. how much health are you on? oh wow.. literally nothing! *COUGH* what do you think happened? what do you think?! there’s a traitorous up that ramp! who popped me in the face! owow! sorry! someone keeps drilling me in the back every time i turn around! yep same with me.. i.. i don’t wanna.. i don’t wanna point any fingers.. oh.. oh okay.. what’s the matter? you need say no more.. what’s the? what have i done?! what have i done now?! i think you were all of us cath! no i’m not! we’re pretty certain we are? i was zombies! notice how.. one person’s got full health and all the rest of us are down.. just throwing that one out there! i have no idea what you’re talking about! *SLURP* oh what was that?! that was alex slurping out of a can.. yes i was slurping out of a can! how do you slurp out of a can? there’s a little hole in the way! well i put my ting.. i put my ting in it?! *put my tongue in it.. you better not put your ting in it! *cough* sorry! nono you do not have a breaching charge! you cannot afford one.. you have to buy the breaching charge for an additional £5.99! available at the alrighhht! jesus! no need to go on about it! okay so.. right.. rush out right to the left this time.. we’ll just go left first okay? left! wait.. rush out right to the left?! rush out to the right one left right? okay? is that clear?! hit the switch! omg look at the all! oh we’re gonna go down i think.. ohh thanks for the warning! oh! stop it! just look with your eyes! no seriously! warn me if there’s a massive hoard of zombies behind me! what do you mean behind you? i don’t have eyes in the back of my head! it’s not my responsibility to know which way you’re looking so i can inform you each time there’s a zombie coming round! did you go down? yes.. did you then have the time to say oh look! there are two gasbags on the bridge right now?! no i did not! yes you did! because you were down and then made a pithy comment about the fact we were all gonna be down! whereas you could have said.. actually oh i’m down ellis there are zombies behind you! i didn’t see them.. duh WHAT?! i didn’t see them! hahow?! you were so busy not paying attention.. and making pithy remarks.. it’s what i’m best known for! cath remember you’ve got your big shotgun as a.. like.. weapon.. oh cath! don’t use it yet! what? why? she’s using her shotgun on on.. three normal zombies! oh ffs! ready up! sorry.. let’s just get this because we know we’re gonna restart it like.. four times! skiip! skip! skip! wuuahhuhh skip! skiiiip! alright i’m skipped? SKIP skip! SKIIIIIPPPPP! SKIP! i’ve skipped! i’ve pressed skip! skeeeip! skiip! skip! oh sorry! skip.. skip! oh sorry! skip! sorry! skip wuaahuh wuahhhaa skiiippp! skip SKIP skip! skip! god damn it! if i have to look at that intro screen one more time.. oh our game’s crashed.. *mini rage* that is a lot of zombies! yeah it is.. no look over there! ohhh my.. oh ohh my god! oh i’m down.. i’ll get him! right.. let me just concentrate on pithy remarks a second.. *pro beatboxing* gogogogogo! *cath drilling ellis in the back* oh i’m down! i’m down! i’m downn! cath just shot gunned me in the back! no i didn’t! YES YOU DID I WATCHED YOU DO IT! *general panic* jesus.. i would be so annoyed if ellis because cath just drilled him in the back of the head with an auto shotgun! all i saw was and above my body was cath going.. BOM! BOM! BOM! BOM! BOM! BOM! BOM! no idea what you’re talking about.. oh.. cath.. i even saw you do it mate! nope! nope! oh it’s okay.. AI’s got ’em! oh it’s not the AI it’s jake.. are you just comparing u k hun? what? sword.. *have my sword! i can stim everyone.. yeah go on! yeah might as wel! stim me! sshtim meh! you’ll have teh schtemeeh! why are you suddenly sean connery?! that was john.. that was gimli.. john gimli?! it was john gimli! cath shouldn’t be allowed to have guns.. she should just have a gun that shoots confetti and makes a fun party sound.. it will reduce friendly fire by 59% and it’ll reduce the amount of people cathed by 98%! i don’t know what you’re talking about.. i like that idea! okay so hang on.. what so? so there’s still.. there’s still a uhh a 2% chance to get cathed?! how can we get cathed with a confetti cannon?! nonono cath doesn’t need equipment to cath you.. oh i see! so essentially.. do i just become pinkie pie out of my little pony? *tumbleweed* just complete silence from all the guys that have NO idea what you’re talking about! you know who pinkie pie is ellis! i do yes! i do! i do not.. i do not get that reference! OWWW who’s drilling me in the back?! uhh.. cath! no.. no.. no it was jake! don’t let him fool you! i mean.. who’s on the most health? just sayin’.. jake you are! nicely done! is that how you use a machete ellis? it’s a well known term.. i’ve never heard that before! it’s not at all! but shut up! what’s your role in the army then?! have you played this again?! alex has played ahead of all of us.. ohh alex! i purposefully didn’t.. what are you talking about?! i haven’t.. played this at all! why are you saying.. this is the plan.. we’re going to do X? i? no i? did i?! oh alex has paid to win! look at all his skins! ohhh god DISGOSTEENNNG! DISGOSTEENG! DISGOSTENNG! i’ve captured it! i’ve captured it! *poom* oh why’d you shoot?! because it was shooting me! i was just about to capture it! capture it faster! well you weren’t doing it fast enough! i was literally just.. it literally turned blue and then you ran past and destroyed it! not sorry! ohh! watch out! claymores! *not paying attention* thanks for telling me a bit late.. i literally just said watch out claymores! no no i’m sorry alex.. he literally said claymores! *lies* it’s a payload rifle! i mean it’s not.. it is! it says payload rifle on it! it’s not a payload rifle! it’s a barrett model 50 caliber anti-material rifle.. and it can fire armoured piercing incendiary all sorts of different ammunition nerd! alrighhhht neerrrrrd! ellis’ precious gun club! ellis’ precious rifle club! this is exactly how the precious metal club started! know it all! we had no need to rush at all! we did! because there was a screamer upstairs and we couldn’t get to it in time! ‘cos you were like noo let’s go back and get the streamer? oww! ermegeehd thur’s a creut here.. urmg there’s murr equirpmernt herr.. it’s rurpurg! err it’s a currmbert shirtgurn! thurr’s another rurpurg heurr! ehwuuhh? there’s sercond rurpurg.. a rurpurg? do you want the rurpurg? the wuhh? the rurpurg? there’s a rurpurg theeur! it’s a rurpurg! ermegurrd! a rurpurg! brurh you gurt a rurpurg? that’s a pretty sweet rurpurg yurr gurt thrr bruh! i gurt a rurpurg! errh bruhh nice rurpurg! emrmegerdd! it’s a rurpurg! i jurst ursing an assurlt rurfle fur nowr! an assurlt rufle? i gurt a curmbat shurtgurrrn! hang on! who’s level 9?! is that alex?! no i’m level 6! i’m the lowest! oh is that jake? no.. no i’m level 6.. no you’re level 7! cath.. have you been pla- have you been playing outside of the group? ..no are you lying?! i had one game with the AI! ohhh caaaaath! well you’re out the group! bye! that’s it! you’re out! you’re kicked out! noo 🙁 if you’re not considerably better than last time cath.. i’m not gonna be better! i was playing with the AI! did you shoot them too did you?! ohh 🙁 you guys are so mean to me! there’s a drone circling cath’s feet.. there’s a what circling her feet jake? is it a drone? there’s a drone mate yeah! shoot it! can someone kill that screamer?! yeah i’m doing it! alright! calm down! alright! alright! calm down mate! oh shut up! mate calm down! OW! stop! OW! i know! you’re still a thanks for the warning.. oh there’s a gasbag there.. ellis? gasbag! this AI is just.. he’s a menace isn’t he? a numpty! what? what? what’d you say?! he’s a i said he’s a numpty! he’s a num- nyeah useless.. no you said he’s me! no.. i said he’s a numpty! i said he’s a numpty! no not you! jake did! i said.. i said he’s useless! i swear i heard he’s ellis!