Nikki Glaser Wants A Respectful Gangbang | Netflix Is A Joke


– Listen, I know what I like. I like bondage. I’m into like, getting tied up. I’m into watching girls getting tied up. I don’t… I’ll sell it to you, ladies. If you’re not into it, you’re about to be. Guess what, bondage? Forced laziness. You don’t have to do anything
(audience laughing) to him if you’re tied up.
(audience laughing) I want to jerk you off but
my hands are tied. (audience laughing)
Let me out, let me out. No, no, no, I’m just kidding, it’s fine. Just leave it.
(audience laughing) What are you doing?
(audience laughing) There’s a ball gag in your
mouth, no dick in your head. It’s just very comfortable.
(audience laughing) You make it look like a struggle. You’re like, oh no, ah.
(audience laughing) But, it’s easy breezy man. (audience laughing) They blindfold you, oh my God. Oh no, I can’t see you how am I gonna cum? Easily, thank you for the assist. (audience laughing and clapping) It’s so good.
(audience laughing) But bondage porn there’s- it’s always like in a cellar
with like dripping walls. Or like a warehouse and
she’s just like abandoned. It’s like, can’t she be comfortable? I don’t understand why
there always has to be a guy with a welders mask and a
purpose, like with a stick. Like, can’t it be nicer? But it can’t be, they’re
always mean to her and I’m just like be nice!
(audience laughing) Like she’s invited all these dudes over. You guys- one of you showed up late. There’s nowhere for your dick to go now and so I hate that guy, he’s
always just like where do I go? Where do I go?
(audience laughing) It’s just like, go fill the BRITA, Tony. Why were you late? Like-
(audience laughing) Do something useful. We’re all going to be very
dehydrated after this. (audience laughing) But- (audience laughing) No. (laughing) Then- Then Tony’s just like hitting his dick on her shoulder. As if that’s doing anything
for either of them. And it’s just like, look
inside yourself, Tony. Why were you late? (audience laughing) God! (audience laughing) She’s not like a bison
on the Great Plains. You- You don’t need to use
every single part of her- (audience laughing) -to honor her.
(audience laughing) Gangbangs? Like I love gangbangs, but I’m just looking for
like a respectful gangbang. Like, why not, just a
nice, be nice to her. A respectful gangbang? That
would just be a girl tied up- ummm and guys are doing lots of
things to her down here. And then up here, a guy’s
just brushing her hair and telling her she’s strong. (audience laughing) Respectful.
(audience laughing) It’s all I want. You know what’s frustrating
about masturbating when you’re a woman? It’s that you can’t really
fuck yourself, you know? Like, you can do clit stuff or whatever, but truly having- being penetrated, it’s hard to do to yourself. Like this is- And it’s hard to come from that if you’re like doing a crossfit sequence as you’re like getting tennis elbow. I mean, it’s a lot of
work and I always give up. I’m just like, this is too hard. And that’s why I get so jealous of guys because I’m like (sighs) jerking off is so easy for guys. It’s just this. That’s so, that’s literally, that’s what you do when think-
when you say something is easy. You’re just like, oh well fuck it, bang it out and go to Chipotle man. (audience laughing) Just get the reports done
then we’ll go to the game. Like that’s how easy that is.
(audience laughing) Ugh, I’m jealous, ’cause I like a dick in me. I’m sorry, I like getting stuffed. (audience laughing) I do, it feels good and I’m not gonna apologize for it. I just like, but the problem
is, and people are like, “oh then why don’t you just
go have sex, Nikki? If you want to catch a
dick in, go out and get one.” And it’s like, I would and I used to when I drank, but if you’re sober, you
can’t just have casual sex. I don’t know if anyone here
has had casual sex sober, but like, how did you do that?
(audience laughing) Having casual sex sober, it’s really, it’s a lot more intimate. It’s- ummm- it turns into an
episode of Dawson’s Creek for some reason. A Counting Crows song starts playing. I’m just like, what’s happening? (singing) ‘Around here’ It’s just like, where is that coming from? (audience laughing) This has meaning when it shouldn’t. (lighthearted electronic music)

100 thoughts on “Nikki Glaser Wants A Respectful Gangbang | Netflix Is A Joke”

  1. Is she not aware all a penis needs is a crease? Armpits, kneepits, elbow crook…just different kinds of cleavage 😊

  2. Seriously!!! All female comedians think being funny means to talk about filthy sex. And bunch of stupid people laugh to this but I guess they paid and they wanna get 100 percent out of it. So they will laugh even if she just farts What a shame

  3. I'm for real not even trying to hate, but literally every stand up bit this chick does is about sex. Every single one. Can she talk about a different topic for once

  4. Is this all she can talk about on stage? Swear all her standups is about fucking and not even half of it is funny. She took the wrong career path

  5. 2:31 😂😂😂 yeah thats awkward.
    They only way i doit is facedown and i hold the soft vibrator like a dick up and i move on top like im fucking it is pretty realistic. But is got to be with a flexible type that bends alittle bit. It doent work with the hard ones. Ur welcome for the tip😉

  6. I dont like that bondage stuff or gangbangs thats too much. I would try like handcuff or rope bit thats it even blindfold sure. But i think that comes from the guy wanting to control u or dominate u. I think i have something better to offer for that. What about real domination not fake. Luke i do bjj i know real submission😉😂 i can show him. 😅

  7. Can anyone tell me why every single female comedian I see clips of or specials consists 95% of them talking about sex?

  8. I mean it's not bad and indeed pretty funny but holy damn am I tired of female comedians talking about nothing but sex. It's just lazy comedy.

  9. I listen to her radio station a lot and her number one problem is she her standards are way too high she’s very egotistical and very particular and that’s her problem

  10. Nikki is just awesome, her show on Comedy Central was beyond expectations. Imagine two women trying to carry a conversation in public while each has a remote controlled vibrator under them that the other is operating. And that was just one part of an episode.

  11. Same joke as Stanhopes how do you sleep sober? She is funny as hell but you can hear her change delivery and tempo as she imitates other comics.

    Flip side when she tells her own style its fucking amazing.

  12. She's good. Solid, even. Not condescending like Schumer or … that other one … urgh. See? You can do stand-up about raunchy things and communicate just as well without talking down to people.

  13. Thee "respectful gangbang" part in this video is particularly the reason why I think Nikki is funny,'cause she's telling all the the jokes but still being fuckin pretty…lol

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