Karlous Miller, Chico Bean, Affion Crockett & More In Funniest Comedy Cypher! | Hip Hop Awards ‘19


♪ ♪ Hello, boys and girls. Welcome to the 2019 BET
Hip Hop Music Awards. This is the comedy cypher. We gonna start this thing off
right with a woman. The princess of comedy,
Jess Hilarious. (cheering, applause) (turntable scratching) ♪ See, this rapping shit
ain’t in my category ♪ ♪ I just fell in,
keep your business to yourself ♪ ♪ You cross me,
you know I’m telling ♪ ♪ Got a little thick, a pretty
bitch and I’m celibate ♪ ♪ Jess finally got herself an
ass, well, now I’m smelling it ♪ ♪ Why you looking?
Never seen a ‘stache before? ♪ ♪ Hair be growing everywhere,
I ain’t bald no more ♪ ♪ Well, maybe a little bit,
I ain’t got that much yet ♪ ♪ But don’t sweat, I’m-a always
keep my foot on y’all necks ♪ ♪ Comedian Jess Hilarious,
yeah, she funny and fine ♪ ♪ And keep your man
off them streets ♪ ♪ ‘Cause if he married,
he mine ♪ ♪ Well, at least
that’s what they say ♪ ♪ I ain’t trying to be careful ♪ ♪ Bet, I said that
and left all of that cash ♪ ♪ Always that one troll
going hard on them keys ♪ ♪ Same bitches stay on private ♪ ♪ Who ain’t trying to be seen ♪ ♪ The same ones
that say I’m canceled ♪ ♪ But still using my memes ♪ ♪ Been three years in the role,
I’m still the clapback queen ♪ ♪ What’s that? ♪ (cheering, applause) Next up, we got the Nino Brown
and Gee Money of comedy, Chico Bean, Karlous Miller. (turntable scratching) -♪ Uh, my name’s Chico Bean,
I’m the livest ♪ -♪ Yo ♪ -♪ I’m about to take off
like a pilot ♪ -♪ Okay ♪ ♪ When I punch in the beat,
I’m-a slide it ♪ ♪ I’m a dripper,
I don’t need a stylist ♪ ♪ When it comes to the flow,
I’m a hitter ♪ -♪ When it comes to the dope,
I’m a killer ♪ -(whoops) ♪ Look at Jess over there,
she a winner ♪ ♪ When she take off that wig,
she a … ♪ ♪ I’m just playing,
you know I can’t hate ♪ ♪ Matter of fact,
let’s go on a date ♪ ♪ I’m-a hustle until I equate ♪ ♪ Money longer than
that Affion face ♪ ♪ Hip-hop is taller
than RuPaul ♪ ♪ But his budget
was shorter than Duval ♪ ♪ So this cypher
is not monetary ♪ ♪ This is why we are
in a library ♪ ♪ Let me get on my uno, dos ♪ ♪ Pass it off to my amigo,
Lous ♪ ♪ Let me get on my uno, dos ♪ ♪ Pass it off to my amigo,
Lous ♪ -♪ Hey, look, I say my style’s
so killer ♪ -♪ Uh-huh ♪ ♪ That OJ Simpson
just followed me on Twitter ♪ -♪ You lying ♪ -♪ Hey,
I say my rhymes so witty ♪ -♪ Uh-uh ♪ -♪ That Janet Jackson
want to show me her ♪ -♪ Uh-uh ♪
-♪ No, I’m in the cypher ♪ -♪ I’m just cooling
with the family ♪ -♪ Okay ♪ ♪ I’m trying to see some boobs
like I’m doing a mammogram ♪ -♪ The breasts ♪
-♪ Hey, that’s so ignorant ♪ ♪ You know that
that’s some stupid shit ♪ ♪ You know you watching BET,
so Baby Boy is after this ♪ -♪ Oh, that’s fun ♪
-♪ And that’s a known fact ♪ ♪ Somebody should’ve
known that ♪ ♪ Like Bill Cosby going to jail
for asking where the … ♪ -♪ That’s lit ♪
-♪ And we can’t laugh ♪ ♪ ‘Cause it ain’t funny ♪ ♪ I’m on your ass
like you owe 50 Cent money ♪ -♪ Whoa ♪
-♪ Living my best life ♪ -♪ Uh-uh ♪
-♪ And having fun with it ♪ -♪ Okay ♪ -♪ I know a rapper
with a purse with a gun in it ♪ -♪ Ooh ♪ -♪ I know a rapper with
a purse with a gun in it ♪ ♪ I know a rapper with a purse
with a gun in it. ♪ (laughter) Here to bring it back with it,
Affion Crockett. (turntable scratching) ♪ I don’t like this beat
at all ♪ ♪ I’m gonna make you …
my balls ♪ ♪ Me so tall, he don’t fall ♪ ♪ Affion acting like he so oh ♪ ♪ I’m the shit, fecal,
E. coli guy with an eagle eye ♪ ♪ Ask them, though, I can’t kill
any MC no matter what he go by ♪ ♪ Me, oh, my, who is this?
Say I look like Ludacris ♪ ♪ But I’m more like Tiger Woods
if he … vagina ♪ ♪ From the hood,
ain’t got stuck in China ♪ ♪ With the wooden dummy hiding
Wing Chun in the hood ♪ ♪ He’s inviting,
woulda, coulda, shoulda ♪ ♪ Hypothetically,
better not edit me, listen ♪ ♪ Now I’m-a go viral, then
I will spiral with a Bible ♪ ♪ In a tower,
Eiffel or the Babel ♪ ♪ Unravel,
now y’all really babble ♪ ♪ ‘Cause I’m Lester
the court jester ♪ ♪ In the cypher, y’all … up ♪ ♪ I’m-a go down as the best of ♪ ♪ Dylan and Dave,
y’all better rest up. ♪ (cheering) (turntable scratching) ♪ Come on, they call me
Chest Hair Shorty ♪ ♪ I’m the flyest over 40 ♪ ♪ Got grey up in my beard ♪ ♪ No pain, I like to sport it ♪ ♪ I’m the leader
of the new school ♪ ♪ The flyest … ♪ ♪ Put Florida on my back, I’m-a
show you what I’m gonna do ♪ ♪ I be vibing on my damn plane ♪ ♪ That’s right,
I said “my damn plane” ♪ ♪ I own my shit, unlike the rest
of you … only grabbing ♪ ♪ I know I said I don’t cheat,
… if you try me ♪ ♪ I … your mama, all you … ♪ ♪ Depending on who housecleans ♪ ♪ No weapon formed against me ♪ ♪ I’m vibing on this damn beat ♪ ♪ City Boyz, we up, baby ♪ ♪ Survived the match,
can’t be beat ♪ ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ ♪ Survived the match,
can’t be beat ♪ -♪ One more time ♪
-♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ ♪ Survived the match,
can’t be… oh! ♪ (cheering, applause)

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