Barbie Instagram – SNL


>>>HI, GUYS.
WELCOME TO YOUR FIRST DAY AS INTERNS AT MATTEL, THE
BARBIE DIVISION. YOU’RE ALL HERE BECAUSE OF YOUR
INTEREST IN TOY MARKETING OR IN BARBIE HERSELF.
WE TAKE THE BARBIE BRAND VERY SERIOUSLY HERE.
LET THE SENIOR VP OF BARBIE SOCIAL MEDIA ELABORATE MORE ON
THAT.>>WHO IS BARBIE?
BARBIE IS FUN. BARBIE WORKS HARD AND PLAYS
THOUGHTFULLY. SHE HAS ONE BOYFRIEND.
SHE IS IMPOSSIBLE. SHE IS GIRL TO THE MAX.
BARBIE IS CURRENT. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
>>YES, EXACTLY. AND LAST YEAR, WE LAUNCHED HER
VERY POPULAR INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT, WHICH ALLOWS HER TO CONNECT WITH
HER FANS ONLINE. YOU THREE WILL BE HELPING OUT
WITH THE CAPTIONS.>>WHY DON’T WE GIVE IT A TRY.
>>WHAT WOULD BE A FUN CAPTION FOR THIS POST?
TAMARA?>>HMM, LOVE MY JUICE AND MY
CHOCOLATE BAR.>>THAT’S NOT A CHOCOLATE BAR.
IT’S A CLUTCH.>>IT’S FINE.
YOU? WHAT WOULD YOU WRITE HERE?
>>”I’M HOLDING A CHOCOLATE BAR.”
>>I SWEAR TO GOD –>>MICHAEL, SWEETIE, HE JUST
TOLD YOU IT’S A CLUTCH.>>THEN, “OH, NO, I FORGOT MY
CLUTCH.”>>SHE’S HOLDING THE CLUTCH.
>>OH, THEN WHERE’S HER CHOCOLATE BAR?
>>THERE NEVER WAS ONE!>>ALL RIGHT.
NEVER MIND. WHAT ABOUT YOU?
>>”I CAN’T SHAKE THE IMAGE OF THAT GIRL GETTING HIT BY THAT
CAR. FOUR YEARS AGO OUTSIDE OF MY
DREAM HOUSE. ANYWAY, I WAS HOLDING A
CHOCOLATE BAR, LIKE THIS ONE.”>>LISTEN TO ME, BOY.
BARBIE NEVER WITNESSED A SUCH THING.
THAT SORT OF THING DOES NOT HAPPEN OUTSIDE BARBIE’S HOUSE.
>>BERNARD, CALM DOWN. IT’S OKAY.
LET’S JUST, WE’LL DO ANOTHER PICTURE, OKAY?
TAMARA, WHAT’S YOUR CAPTION?>>”HI, IT’S BARBIE.
I CAN’T FIND MY DOG.”>>THE DOG IS RIGHT THERE!
IT’S AT HER FEET.>>YEAH, BUT SHE’S NOT SEEING
IT.>>ALL RIGHT.
MICHAEL, WHAT’S YOUR CAPTION?>>”I’M BARBIE.”
>>SHE’S ANSWERING THE PHONE SAYING, “I’M BARBIE”?
>>NO, SHE’S JUST THINKING IT.>>SO SHE PICKED UP THE PHONE,
HELD IT TO HER FACE AND MOUTH, AND THOUGHT, “I’M BARBIE”?
>>YES, EXACTLY, SHE’S PRACTICING.
>>PRACTICING WHAT? THINKING THAT SHE’S BARBIE?
>>ALL RIGHT, LET’S MOVE ON. YOUR CAPTION, JASON?
>>”HEY, I’M SO SORRY TO DO THIS — BUT I WON’T BE ABLE TO
COME TO THE PARTY. I JUST CAN’T.
I GOT ALL DRESSED UP, BUT I JUST CAN’T SHAKE THIS FUNK I’M IN.
I’M FREAKING OUT. I’M BACK TO THINKING ABOUT THAT
GIRL FROM FOUR YEARS AGO. I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY, BUT I
THINK SHE WAS TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING.
I’M SORRY, I’M STUCK. ANYWAYS, GIVE ME A CALL WHEN YOU
CAN. OH, I’M SORRY.
THIS IS BARBIE. BUT YOU KNEW THAT.
YOU HAVE CALLER I.D. I’M SO STUPID.
GOOD-BYE.”>>SO, YOUNG MAN, YOU ARE
SUGGESTING THAT NOT ONLY WILL BARBIE MISS A PARTY, BUT THAT
SHE’S TRAUMATIZED BY SOMETHING THAT I JUST TOLD YOU NEVER
HAPPENED TO HER?>>I THINK ADDRESSING TRAUMA IS
IMPORTANT. IT’S A DISCUSSION THAT NEEDS TO
BE HAD.>>NOT BY BARBIE.
NOT BY BARBIE!>>BERNARD, PLEASE, REMEMBER
YOUR CONDITION. OKAY, LET’S DO ANOTHER ONE.
BUT I’LL SHOW YOU WHAT WE HAVE IN MIND, OKAY.
“BEAUTIFUL SUNSET IN MALIBU,” YOU SEE, JUST LIKE THAT?
>>SURE.>>GO FOR IT.
>>”IT’S ALMOST NOT NIGHT ANYMORE.”
>>OH, MY GOD. AND YOU?
>>IS THAT BARBIE?>>IN THE PICTURE?
YES, OF COURSE THAT’S BARBIE.>>OH, I DIDN’T RECOGNIZE HER
BACK. IN THAT CASE, “I’M BARBIE.
THIS IS JUST MY BACK.”>>NOW ME.
“I OVERHEARD A WOMAN AT THE SUPERMARKET SAY THE STRANGEST
THING. SHE SAID, ‘THERE GOES BARBIE.
POOR THING, SHE DOESN’T KNOW SHE’S A TOY.
CREATED BY A CORPORATION. SILLY THING HAS NEVER WONDER
IDEA THE CAR OR THE HOUSE CAME FROM.
AND THE TRUTH IS, I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THOSE THINGS UNTIL
TODAY. TODAY IS THE FIRST AND VERY LAST
DAY OF MY LIFE.”>>OKAY, I’M REALLY TRYING TO
WRAP MY BRAIN AROUND THIS. YOU’RE SUGGESTING THAT BARBIE
FINDS OUT THAT SHE’S A TOY IN THE SUPERMARKET AND THEN SHE HAS
SOME SORT OF IDENTITY CRISIS THAT DRIVES HER TO SUICIDE?
>>IT’S THE ONLY WAY SHE CAN BE FREE.
>>OKAY. DEIRDRE, I’M GOING TO CLOSE MY
EYES AND WHEN I OPEN THEM, I WANT ALL THREE OF THEM OUT OF
THE BUILDING.>>YES, YES.
AND I’M GOING TO LEAVE MY EYES OPEN AND MAKE SURE THAT HAPPENS
FOR HIM. LEAVE.
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
YOU CAN OPEN YOUR EYES. THEY’RE GONE.
ALL RIGHT, SO WE’RE GOING TO GO WITH THE “I’M BARBIE, THIS IS MY
BACK,” RIGHT?

100 thoughts on “Barbie Instagram – SNL”

  1. Somebody told their child to grow up and stop playing with toys, to get their head outta the clouds and grow up!!! And now that kid vacations on private islands and facetimes that wackadoo parent of theirs. 😝😝😝

  2. If your a bloody $hit puppet who never questions anything and just takes orders, alway$ on a need to know bases or not, your a mother fucking bloody complicit accomplice pathetic excuse of a man! Guilty by forced ignorance! And you are most definitely not doing HUMANITY any favors, believe you, me! History proves it CURRENT events CONFIRMS it and I for one would rather revolt then ever conform!

  3. The world needs MASS critics, and MASS CRITICISM, not shit usless justifications for less than rat shit bloody inbred shit fuck mk ultra mind control shit fuck freaks and their obstruction of justice, to divide and CONQUER, whilst CREATING order out of self made choas by these decrepit atrocious shit fucks, to say the least!
    ALL these shit pedos shit USELESS politicians abusers of power with authority behind them and the guise of justice in front of them, flaunting privilege $magma $hit $cum less than rat shit inbred decrepit BLOODY shit fuck bastards should be publicly beheaded! That'd be an attempt at TRUE JUSTICE!
    Perhaps all these world SHITgovernSHITmentSHITs tring to SHITnwoSHIT us, is the real issue, all they ever do is distort, whilst DIVIDING and attempting to conquer, creating order out of chaos, which is created and controlled by themselves with deception, propaganda, psychological warfare, they regulate all and believe you me history current events, they don't have the people's best interest! INSANE, DISGUSTING, UNFATHOMABLE, PREDICTIVE PROGRAMMING EVERYAWHERE and at its best! It is almost as if tv, radio, and all social media has been created, and controlled by shit useless inbred Nazi ZIONIST fugly bloody rat bastards! Umm is it just me or does the shitgovernshitmentshit first put blame anyone else before accepting responsibility for their own ATROCIOUS murderous actions! Name one good thing the shitgovernshitmentshit has ever done other than rape, murder, oppress, manipulate, distort, deceive etc. I am not crazy, rather, I remain eager hopeful optimistic of a better world today not tomorrow… fuck where is… do you feel the justice? WE MUST UNITE AND IGNITED WE ARE THE UNSTOPPABLE FORCE AGAINST THIS SHIT SHOW CHARADE, FARCE NWO KAKISTOCROCY SHITGOVERNSHITMENTSHIT!
    Perhaps all celebrities alike all low life shit useless politicians are nothing more than mk ULTRA MiNd control freaks brought on by this shit useless nwo! Left or Right don't fall off a cliff, for fucks sake, Red or Blue dont be fooled, for their only ever care is in revenue, not me and not you! This shit fuck useless nwo shit stank kakistocracy system of decrepit fugly INBRED fucks less than rat shit BLOODY bastards, is the real ISSUE! It feeds on obstruction of justice, ENABLING their agenda to divide and conquer, whilst creating order out of chaos, SO THEY CAN KEEP ON with PROPAGANDA, PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE, CONFUSING, OPPRESSING, RAPING, POISONING FOOD WATER AIR EARTH YOUTH'S MINDS, ETC. All while distorting history sacred sites truth it's self! I SAY FUCK NO! DO NOT BE DISTRACTAINED(distracted entertained and chained) to perceptions not of your own mind, BY ALL THEIR STATE OF THE art BULLSHITITERY. BTW, ALL tv, radio, internet, SOCIAL MEDIA IS WEAPONRY OF THE MASS PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE, MASS SURVEILLANCE, MASS MANIPULATION MASS DECEPTION KIND!
    FUCK FUCK FUCK THE $Y$TEM VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT!
    Fuck shit useless SHIT ADVERTISERS ALL THEY ARE GOOD FOR IS INCITING SHIT propaganda SHIT pusHin SHIT NWO SHIT psychological warfare SHIT lovin $HIT Advertisers FUCK THEM THEY ARE A HUGE PART OF THE HEINOUS PROBLEM!
    THe$e shit nwo shit pushin shit lovin shit PROPAGANDA shit lovers same shitty here today shitty gone tomorrow shit politicians less than rat shit inbred bloody shit fuck shit bastards are scared of words and thoughts, yet insist on mass CONTROL of YOU to the point of chipping your ass!
    WE are all BLOODY clouded with ATROCIOUSNESS by our USELESS, DIVIDE and CONQUER, governments. Who only ever care is in revenues not me, not you. Pushing nwo and CREATING order out of their chaos created and regulated by governments. Perhaps I sound hate filled, yet I am not! I may sound crazy, yet I am not, rather, I remain optimistic, hopeful, eager, infact, of a better world today not tomorrow, where is JUSTICE?
    We must UNITE and IGNITED we are the UNSTOPPABLE FORCE AGAINST this circus show charade farce kakistocrocy governments OF CHARLATANS!
    I wonder why so many people are diagnosed with auti$m, and attention deficit disorder$, kkkould it be all the poison they are spraying in our skys, day in, day out, sun down, sun up, or all the poi$on allowed in foods, perhaps its all the poisons in plastics, or all the gmos, or perhaps its all the mandatory vaccinations, who know$ the only thing that is known is that shitFDAshit shitgovernshitmentshit, shit nwo shit kakistocrocy shit regulates all of it! It is not as if this shitgovernshitmentshit shit nwo shit ain't one big huge conspiracy against humanity, or is it!
    How about we talk about how all these baby eating so called A list celebrities and low life less than shit rat inbred shit fuck politicians they are no more than MK ULTRA MIND CONTROL SHIT FUCK FREAKS distractions at best, weaponry of the state of the art shititry kind for this shit nwo shit kakistocrocy SHITgovernSHITmentSHIT at worst!
    NO WONDER PEDOS THRIVE IN, CIA CREATED, HEINOUSWOoD!
    What rational? The only logic they give afuck about this SHITgovernSHITmentSHIT is revenue not me and not you! History proves it CURRENT events CONFIRMS it and we SHALL NOT be OBLIGATED to OBLIGE and KEEP BENDING OVER AND TAKING IT! THIS SHITGOVERNSHITMENTSHIT operates only to OBSTRUCT justice, CREATING many distractions and holding to much weaponry of the state of the art shititry kind!

  4. The U.S. of lie$ fed by NWO zioni$t $atani$t paedophile$ government$! THIS is probably why all civilizations collapse because shit nwo governments alway$ use extreme scare tactics, psychological warfare, propaganda, manipulation, deception, war, gmos, weather engineering, all technologies, against humanity, mother EARTH, the animal kindoms, etc.

  5. Obviously, all technologies, new advances, are relea$ed in a truly nwo $tate of the $hititry $trategic, kind of way! THE controller$, they en$ure anyone with the technology (WEAPONRY) if you will, can definitely, CREATE more chaos, di$tort, confu$e, manipulate, ba$ically lobotomize you through any video on the internet! BECAUSE all new advances and technologies are used against HUMANITY! Its all weaponry u$ed against u$ by our long time ago u$ele$$, $atani$t, $ioni$t, paedophile$, murderou$, oppressor$, the nwo 1%r$hitter$, government$! The$e fugly nwo $hit charaders$, $cum, $tank, inbreeder$ $magma of earth must be brought to their final much a due conclusion!

  6. Government=mindcontrol, let that sink in. Also they neglect to inform the control is not for your benefit ever, only nwo, $hit ATROCIOUSNESS that only always benefits nwo gov. and its HEINOUS $hit puppet$!

  7. Part of the problem is, all the BLOODY $hit lable$ they give us TO only divide us, conquer us, order us, after all the CHAOS they submit us to, this is the REAL ISSUE!

  8. Once you become whats blocking my knowledge or freedom of mind then we have a huge problem! So, I have a huge problem with this nwo government$ of CHARLATAN$ in THE U.S. OF LIE$! Yes the U.S. OF LIE$, WHERE JUSTICE EQUALS, the ma$$e$ e$lavement TO THE RICH MAN, DECEPTION, MANIPULATION, CONTROL, INDOCTRINATION, PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE, PROPAGANDANMIZATION, must be endured! Does anyone else notice how GOV. Alway$ is ON NEED TO KNOW BA$E$, are alway$ DIVIDEING AND CONQUERING, alway$ creating order out of $elf made chao$, THEy use all TECHNOLOGY they hoard against us and alway$ use $TRONG $CARE TACTIC$. FOR you see, for $hit $cum $atani$t paedo$ $ioni$t $magma, it i$ alway$ fair game to obstruct true justice!

  9. If you believe the official story then you might as well be, a cave men in a cave, taking in the shadows on the cave wall as truth! However, you could not be more mistaken!

  10. WE are all BLOODY clouded with ATROCIOUSNESS by our USELESS, DIVIDE and CONQUER, governments. Who only ever care is in revenues not me, not you. Pushing nwo and CREATING order out of their chaos created and regulated by governments. Perhaps I sound hate filled, yet I am not! I may sound crazy, yet I am not, rather, I remain optimistic, hopeful, eager, infact, of a better world today not tomorrow, where is JUSTICE?
    We must UNITE and IGNITED we are the UNSTOPPABLE FORCE AGAINST this circus show charade farce kakistocrocy governments OF CHARLATANS!

  11. Why are we constantly preconditioned, predictive PROGRAMMING EVERYAWHERE why, why is psychology used against us, why is it allowed and legal for us to be, from the moment born, psychologically tormented, and submerged in $hit nwo shit propaganda 24/7, why? Why, do THESE shit scum smagma of govern shit ment $hits any shit govern shit ment shit, pick one care $o more about revenues, and always puts money (paper) before its citizens welfare, why? Why are the shittiest garbage worst of the worst of the worst subliminal messages allowed in all advertising, movies, music, mainstream media, tv, radio, why? Why is back masking legal, why? Why is it that so called news networks are allowed to hypnotize the audience, why?
    Perhaps because the $hit govern $hit ment $hit has invested so much into studying our MIND in order to CONTROL us and manipulate us decieveing all of every single one of us, why? Probably BECAUSE government literally translates to CONTROL MiNd, shitgovernshitmentshit has too much power, too much CONTROL, too much technology, and have proven incompitent, and untrustworthy scum smagma of earth and certainly of a spiritual energetic world as well!
    Why would anyone want their mind CONTROLLED at all nonetheless be governed by a bunch of less than rat shit $atanist shit pedos shit inbred shit fugly shit fucks that can only OPERATE in the shadows because they have chosen to be shit inbred $hit puppets less than bloody shit rat shit bloody shit inbred shit fugly shit bastards and sell out HUMANITY!

  12. Trump is nothing more than a puppet with a bloody powerful hand up his arse way up in there dictating his every move!

  13. Together United IGNITED we are the UNSTOPPABLE force AGAINST this long ago $hit CHARADE farce nwo kaki$tocrocy, oligarchy, TYRANNY! So, red or blue don't be a fooled, $hit horrid puppet$ on the right or $hit horrid puppet$ on the left, for fuck$ $ake dont fall for their $ioni$t delu$ion$, filled with paedo, $atanic, illu$ion$, instead fight for their much a due and needed conclu$ion!

  14. Plot twist: the girl that was hit outside barbie’s house was another Barbie that realized she was a toy and tried to tell the other Barbie of their reality but got hit by the car before she could get the message. 😱

  15. Hilarious πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚!!!!!!!

  16. It occurs to me that this Pete Davidson guy is retarded. He does the same dumb things over and over. I really don't like him.

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